Attitude adjustment

''I've never done anything infront of people and succeeded'' ''sometimes I think I'm just a big fat loser'' (That's how I think sometimes)

That's my problem right there. If I believe I can't do something... surprise... I can't. I give myself a poor self image reputation, and then live up to it.

Do I cut people's hair in front of them? But of course!! Do I forget how to cut hair and have to be re-trained every time? Of course not!! I know I can cut hair blind folded and just do it without thinking about it? Why do I make a big deal out of nothing. I don't know why. Maybe I should talk to a shrink about it. It can't hurt. I have the will, the skill!

Why I can't use the skills I've learned and practiced a million times, every time, all the time, I don't know. I know that when I do go out to show off just a little in some parking lot somewhere, with Vgirl, doing follow the leader, my stomach starts churning. I force myself to do it from time to time. But it happens every time. Maybe I am thinking that the people that are watching are thinking...There she goes again...she sure thinks she is somebody.. When really, I am practicing in front of a small group of people to see if I can build up my confidence enough to ever, put on a show of RLAP. No one has any idea what it takes for me to do that.

Now I think back to the time in Leesburg, where I was allowed to ride with the Pro's. Sure I was nervous as heck but I did it.

If I take my little bike to Mexico this winter I would that way I could keep up with my skills. Heck, I don't know if I will be going, so might have to insure that pink thing and go out on any dry day, till I can do 15ft figure eights blind folded in a phone booth ;)

So basically what I am saying, is I need an attitude adjustment.