The Morning of the test

Here I am with the guys. This was in the morning before it started we were all ready to roll.

Here I was ready Ride Like a pro and get it done. I was feeling very positive, but very nervous. I never do good at anything, when I am being tested or watched by anyone. I don't know why they are very calming instructors and just walk around with the timer and pen and paper, don't say a word or anything. My first run totally sucked, if I remember correctly, I dropped parking it. as I parked it up agains the wall I was shaking so much. I know I have a new scrape over my old scrape.I believe that is where Ed said, now that's a first.

The second run, wasn't much better than the first, and I was heart broken and pissed off at myself. Nothing I seemed to do would work. I could not calm myself down. I was folding under pressure. Yet when I start out I felt good, calm and kept thinking this is easy, it aint shit, I'm the boss.

Then along came the brake and escape, which I have done many times. In our practises it was all good, but we only had to enter the cones at 30. Now we had to enter at 40 and not a second less and no locking up the brakes and or knocing out a cone. Long story short, I could not get it, and they said if they had time at the end of the day to give me some more runs.

Now it's lunch time and I knew I failed. I was so disapointed in my self and I was fighting the tears. I kept walking around trying to choke it back, suck it up, but it was not happening.. I decided then, I would not go and just be in my own zone, and practise while they are gone to get back in the zone. I asked if it was okay and they said nope.. I needed the rest. Shit... I need to find my relax state again. I just couldn't even think of eating, and I need to be alone, cuz I did not want to be pouting and looking miserable,. I just wanted a good cry and get it out of the way. They all tried to get me to go, but I said thanks I need this I will be ok.

So I had a good cry, a smoke, and walked around taking pics and staring at the damn cones. I tried to close my eyes and visualize me going through the cones, dancing like an angel! I even saw this your guy going through the illiminator with the fork lift.. I had my camera handing and filmed him... Ya hooo says.. I laughed and thought if that big ol thing can do it, so can I.